Muddy waters

Today I texted a picture of my new hair-do to The Big Injun who is away working.  I went from blonde highlights which were only “installed” to cover gray back to almost my original dark brown where in about 2 weeks grays will be peeking out like prairie dogs.

Ok. I liked my hair. I felt like it was a nice change and well, for whatever reason, I was feeling pretty “sassy.” And so I had about a million minutes to waste while I sat in the car line at school. So I took a picture of myself. Which was really creepy. REALLY, unusually creepy…. people were passing by and I somehow figured out how to contort my phone in a manner where it looked like I wasn’t taking a selfie, but instead just browsing my phone, while making kissy faces… I for sure fooled everyone…

I then proceeded to type a message to The Injun about how it was $75,  and I wrote a check for it because I had left my other card at home and I was worried about writing a check because I wanted to pay for it out of my other account…blah…blah..blah…..  but in spite of that mishap,  how “marvelous” my hair actually looked. I attached the picture and as soon as I hit “send” I regretted it. Like one of those “regrets” where you want to put on a ski mask if you ever have to face that person again.

I felt like a teenager trying to look cute. But for my husband. Not for my 12 Instagram followers. (<—true story.) It was private. It was sent to him for a reason. But that reason was in “code.”  Surely he would figure it out…right?? Surely he would text back and say EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. “Honey…that IS marvelous! You look so beautiful! I am so glad you spent $75 getting your hair fixed, you deserve it! I love you so much, even when your hair was ratchet”( <—-stole that one from my kids who have 1200 Instagram followers 🙂 )

And so IMMEDIATELY after I sent it… I felt like a self-absorbed, disgusting plate of vanity covered in smugness, with a side of arrogance.

And so the “ding-a-ding” sound of my message alert came in. He said something about it being $75 and not to worry about it.  <WHEW.> Safe. I was safe. But wait?!?! Something was missing… I had went to all this trouble of taking my self-portrait, disguising my “pose” as people drove by and not ONE SINGLE WORD about my photo and if my hair looked good.

It was at this point that I started feeling discouraged. What had I done? Had I grossed him out by sending a selfie? Because I sure had grossed ME out!   But didn’t he know that I didn’t send this to just anyone? I had sent it to him! And him alone! Did he not decipher the “code?” The code where he was to look at the picture, and even though right after I sent it to him I sent a p.s. and said it was “dumb” and to please delete it and I was “embarrassed” that I had sent it…. Did he not know that it really meant…. “I need you to say you LOVE my hair and I am the most gorgeous woman on the planet?” 

I could not wrap my brain around how he missed that. I mean, after all, I made it clear that I was fishing for a compliment didn’t I? Of course I did.  BUT….then I sent the “p.s” where I said I was “embarrassed….”

Here is where it gets complex…. and here is where I feel sorry for men all over the planet:

Did he not know that was a code WITHIN a code??

Clearly,  this man does not “get” me. I mean really…. he should know me by now, right??

And so time passed by. Like 30 minutes. And not a word. I started feeling more and more like he was never coming home from his trip out-of-town.  Was it my hair?? Was it the fact that I had actually stooped to the level of a “selfie?” Or was it because he couldn’t decipher the code?

“Ding-A-Ding.” Oh good. My text was in. The one where he was saying he had been busy working but had stopped to take the time to tell me that I reminded him of Mila Kunis. (SHHHHHHHHHHHHush….. <–that’s his secret crush.)  And so I read it:  His reply: “I showed your pic to everyone.” …… and then a second text…. “Sike!”  Still…no word of the “do.”

And I replied back within seconds… “Well, at least I got some sort of reply!”” I shall now dig out my ski mask which I will be “donning” when you return home!”

And so he texted back.. “I think your hair looks very nice. I was more worried that you were fretting about the money.”

That was really “THE” text I was waiting on. I just didn’t know it. And he didn’t even have to decipher a code to reply. He read my text, the previous one where I said plain and clear,  that I was disappointed. Little did The Big Injun know (<—pun fully intended, ) that I set myself up for disappointment well before I even gave him a chance to disappoint me.

So why do we, as intelligent women,  talk in “code?”  Why would myself, personally, NOT believe that this man adores me, for me…the same Injun who had texted me OUT OF THE BLUE about 3 hours prior saying “You can get a pedicure on me if you want. Just cuz I LOVE U.”

Why you ask?!? Because we are STUPID. DUMB. Looking for something that is already there. When are we going to realize that men communicate differently than us? When are we going to stop “fishing” for a compliment when the Injun has already confirmed his love for you? When do we quit talking in “code?” NEVER. That’s the way we were built for the most part. That’s what brings the element of mystery to our lives,  It’s the “game” we play…where we lose most rounds…but once in a while, just ONCE in a blue moon, if your man “takes the bait..”  and deciphers the code…we “win.” (Doesn’t happen too often, so “take one for the team” boys!!) But in the meantime, I feel sorry for Injuns all over the world.

disclaimer: portions of this post have been clearly exaggerated. but not the part about the Injun being nice. 

Clear as mud?  Yeah, I thought so.


Tags: , , , ,

Categories: beauty, girls, humor, love, marriage, relationships, Uncategorized


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

Like it? Well...subscribe then! So I can haunt you via email :)

Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: