The day I realized my “Fountain of Youth” clocked out early:

It was yesterday and  I was putting on makeup. For 39 years I had lived in my imaginary land where rainbows and unicorns exist. Where there was world peace and where my forehead was wrinkle-free. I put on my new eye make-up and as I was doing so, I lifted my eyebrows up to gain more “room” for application. That alone should have been my first signal right?? And so I lowered my brow and I felt something was “amiss.” Amiss I say! The wrinkles that were there when I had purposefully gnarled my face into “facelift” position remained! They stayed there! Even after I relaxed! What in the cat-hair was going on?? Always before my face went back to “normal.” Crows feet are acceptable because they add character, almost attractive if you will. But wrinkles on the forehead?? I think not!!

And so I had a little moment of mourning my old forehead and went about my business. Next stop was the Dr. I had been to this place at least 10 times in 3 months. I had not been to the Dr. 3 times in 10 years before a few months ago. Next stop was the  pharmacy. After all, I had to re-fill my RX. One of them anyway…. so while I was there I remembered that my kids had asked for a few “items” they needed. So as I was evaluating my choices of  black-head removal scrubs and acne cleansers it dawned on me, I am not buying dolls and sippy cups anymore. I am buying ZIT cleaners for a bunch of puberty-stricken teenagers! LORD HELP ME??!?!?! When did I become this old person? My fountain of youth had LEFT THE BUILDING!!

People say you are only as old as you feel. Well….I must be 102.

I have to make a hair appointment today. In case you haven’t seen me lately, I have blonde highlights. Quite a bit. It’s not that I necessarily want to be blonde, really it’s not natural looking. I have always been brunette but now I am brunette with a lot of grey! So, in order to disguise it, I have to mix in some blonde. I don’t like it. In fact, I detest it. But the reality is, this is what “life” has dealt me… some grey hairs, some hormonal kids, and as of this week… a different forehead.

I will be 40 next May. Couldn’t my “fountain of youth” just have hung on one more year?! One more measly year?? I could accept it in my 40’s, but 30’s?? I feel I’ve been slighted, robbed if you will. I want my forehead back!

Please excuse me while I go check my calendar for when my laser hair removal appointment is……


Tags: , , ,

Categories: health, humor, life


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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One Comment on “The day I realized my “Fountain of Youth” clocked out early:”

  1. November 18, 2011 at 7:42 am #

    Spitting out my coffee here………………..

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