My Dingo ate your… ahhh, nevermind.

Twitch…twitch…t w i t c h……

That would be my eyelids. Twitching. Tired. Stressed. That’s what happens when I get stressed. Why am I stressed? I am so glad you asked.

The neighbors dog. It’s lucky to be alive. The little, black, hairy creature is not on my “favorite furry critters” list right now.

Normally it is. I like the pitiful little canine. She is a but a mutt. She is timid and it has taken her three years for her to “trust” us. She will occasionally let us pet her but normally she sticks right by my neighbor’s side.

My dog “Dingo” and my neighbors dog “Baby” are BFF’s. They run to greet one another in the mornings and jump and play and wrestle. They share food at both of our houses and yesterday I watched Dingo go up to Baby and give her a nice, wet, sloppy kiss.  Both of the poor little mutts were dumped and rescued. I am sure they have abandonment issues….which is why I feel sorry for them both.

So last night, right about 10 p.m. we heard Dingo barking like mad. The kind of bark where we knew she seen something out in the woods, most likely a deer. The kind of bark where she sees it, but stands 100 yards away and tries to act ferocious from her spot on the trampoline. The kind of bark where she is really a scaredy cat but tries to pretend she is protecting us.  The kind of bark where if our cat came around the corner she would run with her tail tucked between her legs. Oh wait, that would be impossible. Her tail is cut off and it is crooked.

Anyway, so she started the barking. And about 2 seconds later here comes “Baby” to the rescue. And “Baby” charges off about halfway down the hill and starts in as well. OK, not a big deal. The varmint in question will run off and the dogs will be on their merry way. So, we went to bed.

But the barking continued. I asked the Big Injun to put Dingo in the garage. He said it was not her barking, it was “Baby.”  Sure enough, I looked out and seen Dingo perched on her trampoline doing nothing while Baby was perched under my window. Barking. Incessantly.

So I yelled out the window. “SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And it worked! For one second. And the barking began again. So I shut the windows, even though it was a pretty night out and we had opened up the house. Surely the windows being shut would drown out the bark.

I began reading in hopes of falling fast asleep. I had put the barking on the back-burner, almost had tuned it out if you will. And I was growing very sleepy. What was this noise?? The sound of NOTHING! Yes, that’s correct, it was silence. YAY! I was going to never-never land to dream about fluffy clouds and unicorns. I was drifting away and dreaming, floating on air, jumping off buildings , able to fly. This was the stuff that dreams were made of. Not the kind where you revert back to high school and you look down and you aren’t wearing clothes while walking down the hallways..oh no, I was dreaming about fluffy dogs.. that were barking. BARKING…..BARKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ruff Ruff RUFF!! Hooooowwwwwwllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What in the world?! Not again! Please Lord no!! Please let me dream about walking naked down the school hallway instead. But no! This was no dream. This was the real-deal Lucille. The stinkin’ dog was UNDER MY WINDOW barking and howling. Non-stop. At one point I even heard its voice crack and was hoping it would develop laryngitis and lose its bark.

Finally, it quit. It just stopped. By now it was about midnight. I figured the deer had gotten their fill as well and ran off to nibble on someone elses pear tree. And so I drifted off. And about 30 minutes later, it started. Again. And went on, and on, and on. At this point I made a sandwich. It consisted of my head laying on its side, in the middle of two pillows , so as my ears were smashed against each one. It semi-drowned out the noise. But here was the other problem. It was HOT. My windows were closed, the air was off, there was a giant Injun beside me acting like there wasn’t a dog howling outside our window and I was suffocating with my ear-sandwich pillow.

So I threatened to get up and do something about the whole situation. But I did not know what that might be. Plus that would require me messing up my “sandwich.” I was sweating, I was angry and “Baby” could have cared less. So I drifted in and out like this all night. The barking would stop for a few minutes and then it would come back. Off and on….ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

Then I remembered the Giant Injun had to get up at 5 a.m. And sure enough, he had set his alarm. Only this time instead of the normal BEEP….. BEEP…… BEEP….. he had set it to the radio for the first time ever. And wouldn’t you know it…when it went off…it started playing:  “Who let the dog’s out… whoooo…………..whoooooo ……………”?  I remember vocally making a noise that sounded something like ” NUH UH!” (Ok, I lied about the song, but it was the radio and I did make that noise.. I think the real song was “Baby Love, my Baby love….”)

Anyhow, I fell back asleep. And he got up. And I was awakened again by barking. So I texted the Most Darling Man I know and asked him to put Dingo in the garage. Maybe…just maybe if he did, “Baby” would give it up. And after about 10 more minutes, she did. But I think it was because the sun had come up and she could see that after 8 hours of barking, there was nothing out there. NADA. And she didn’t even have laryngitis. I don’t get it. How can one bark for 8 hours and not develop at least a raspy voice?

To top off the morning, my other alarm did not go off, and so the kids got me up 5 minutes after we were supposed to leave for the bus and I went hell to breakfast down the highway with twitchy-eyes and the breath of a dragon. We missed it and had to wait for it to come back by. Oh well. Such is life.

Tonight the air is coming back on, all the windows will be closed in the house, all the fans will be on full-blast, Dingo will be in the garage, and if “Baby” is sitting outside my window…well, then by tomorrow my eyelids will be turned inside out.

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Categories: animals, dogs, humor


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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4 Comments on “My Dingo ate your… ahhh, nevermind.”

  1. September 27, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

    That sounds awful. We have birds outside our window and they chirp all the time. It’s nice in the morning, but not at night. I’m assuming they’re babies, but isn’t it the wrong time of year for that?

    I hope you get better sleep tonight. BTW, you totally had me believing you heard “Who Let the Dogs Out.”

    • September 28, 2011 at 9:45 am #

      I don’t think it’s the wrong time for baby birds. I just had one build a nest in my garage and they hatched not that long ago.

  2. September 28, 2011 at 7:26 am #

    What were your neighbours doing while wall this was going on? I’d not have coped, I’d have done something……………….. like lock them BOTH in the garage!

    • September 28, 2011 at 9:46 am #

      Well, we live on 3 acres and the neighbors are across the road with at least that many, probably more so they were not even aware what was going on since it was behind my house. Last night we locked our dog in the garage and turned the AC back on. I slept like a baby!!

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