O’ Stinky One


There’s been a dead opossum on my front sidewalk for a couple of days. Dingo must have drug it up to show off her trophy. I was becoming disturbed about it being there but at the same time I did NOT want to touch it . I was simply hoping it would “vanish.” And vanish… it did.

Yesterday was “Amish Day” at our house. The day where the kids are not allowed any electronics. So they have to find other ways to “entertain” themselves. The three younger ones went outside and found the opossum. The next thing we knew, they had small pocket knives in tow, latex gloves on, and were asking for a pair of tweezers. Tweezers that I would “never want to use again.”

At first I did not catch on. But the Big Injun did. He knew what they were up to. Immediately he said, Are you planning on dissecting that opossum?” ………<pause>……………………………………. “Well….”  “NO! You will not cut open that opossum that has been on the sidewalk for 3 days. It is gross! And carries disease! You could get sick!”  With heads drooped, out they walked. Tweezerless.

And so I carried on with cooking lunch. Eventually something caught my eye out the window. There was dirt flying everywhere on the front lawn. And small humans with shovels. And a dead opossum. They were giving it a proper burial. Smack dab in the middle of the front lawn. A huge hole. With a dead varmint. Yay. But hey, they were keeping busy on “Amish Day” so I did not complain.

In they came, ever so proud! They had chanted a little verse and had dubbed the dead opossum “O Stinky One.” Great! At least the dude was off my sidewalk now and the whole ordeal was over. Now…on to washing their hands 6 times even though they were wearing latex gloves.  That would be the last I would ever see of  “O Stinky One.” Forever!!

Or so I thought.  Until I went into my daughter’s room this morn and found this:

Well, alrighty then. Looks like “someone’s” going to be making a re-appearance.

In 3 weeks.

That should be sanitary.

Given the dog doesn’t “un-bury” it first. I visited its grave. It’s not looking too promising. There are holes all around it, the dog has been very busy.

“O’ Stinky One….  you met your demise. But one day, we shall see you again. Actually, I’m guessing in 3 weeks… I’ll see you again. And you won’t look as well-kept this go-round.

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Categories: children, humor

Author:onemom4rugrats

I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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2 Comments on “O’ Stinky One”

  1. September 19, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

    OMG, Kids are disgusting!!! I’ll pray you don’t ever see O Stinky One ever again. For your sake, I hope God isn’t too busy three weeks from now. Eeeewwww!

  2. September 20, 2011 at 8:00 am #

    I like the concept of sending the kids outside to play dead! It may mean peace and quiet – what do you reckon? 😆

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