Words with Lobsters

I dreamed of Red Lobster last night. Oh…not the one with buttery, garlic biscuits and crab legs…. Me. I’m sunburned…thanks to my cousin. She made me do it. She said.. “Rachel, you WILL lay out in the sun for 4 hours with no sunscreen in the blazing heat since you have had zero exposure to the sun since last summer.” She did, I promise…no, not really, I’m lying. I did it to myself. She did at least give me some chap stick with sunscreen for my lips, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to eat.

And so as the evening wore on, my sunburn worsened. And when it came time for bed, well…weird things started happening. First, I went to bed at like 10:30. It is usually at least 2 a.m. or even later due to incessant insomnia. Then I was cold and wanted under heavy blankets when the Big Injun Man was sleeping on top of them. And so I drifted off….I couldn’t believe it, I was actually going to sleep! “Maybe I should get sunburned more often?”

But then it started. The weirdness that is. The freaky-deaky things that only dreams are made of. The Injun and I were playing “Words with Friends” with our bodies. Each time it was our turn to play,  we moved, or tossed and turned…and had to lay a certain direction to line up the letter to form the next word. Then we would do it again, changing our positions either vertically or horizontally in order to form the word. Except there were no letters. Just one brown Injun colored body and one really red body. Why…oh why did we play “Words with Friends” right before bed?? Under normal circumstances I would say it was a pretty interesting dream…but then the sunburn started talking. It was if I were on some sort of hallucinogen. From the time I beat him at the game…until about 1:30 …I really cannot speak of what happened next…but let’s just say that I NEVER want to “go there” again.

On top of crazy hallucinations and sunburned lobsters playing “Words with Friends….” restless leg kicked in like NEVER before. It was HORRIBLE. I took like half of my bottle of “Restful Lobster Legs” and it did not even help. I wanted to scream and by 1:30 I was wide awake for the remainder of the night. I thought about getting up,  and looking back, I should have. I could have saved myself some misery. But I was being stubborn. Normally I get up at least 3 times a night to go to the bathroom…well….I was trying to relish in the fact that I had no desire to get up for once in my life. Being a lobster has it benefits….and I was dehydrated, I was kind of enjoying it. The luxury of not having to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes that is.

This morning I got up a little more early than usual…the Big Injun was gone. I am sure he was ready to flee the likes of “Lobster Wife.”  I cannot blame him. I am not so certain that I was not REALLY trying to score a triple word, double letter combo with the letter “Z” last night. That’s like 100 points or something!

If you do not play “Words With Friends” you should. Just not before bed-time when your external body temperature is 150.

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Categories: humor


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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One Comment on “Words with Lobsters”

  1. June 6, 2011 at 2:30 am #

    Ouch. I’ve done this to myself so many times. It starts out a little itchy and as the night goes on, I slowly start to glow. By bedtime I’m radioactive, baby. Next time you’re up late, email me. We’ll talk. I don’t sleep either. 🙂

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