Momma Mia & her Holy Ghost gasoline

Tomorrow I leave out-of-town for the weekend. When I initially planned this trip I did not realize it was Mother’s Day weekend. Would that have stopped me from taking a much-needed “girls only” trip? Not bloody likely.

If that sounds harsh, it is not meant to be. And my mom knows that..because she is ultra cool in those regards.  One thing I know about my mother is that when I am happy, she is happy. It is just that simple.  When you go through the fire with one of your kids for years and years,  and when you stand by their side, support, pray, worry, and cry for them, you tend to appreciate the simple. The boring. Even the mundane.

For years, I would call my mom and I know she would rush to the phone, but I know she was dreading hearing what was going to be on the other end. Even though she always made me feel like I was not upsetting her or at times…sucking the very life out of her…I was. How could I not be? My life was a mess, my finances were a mess and she was ALL I had to turn to.

But she never once, ever made me feel like anything other than I was of utmost importance. That my “mess” was “fixable.” That she would drop everything and come to help me or tell me to just come “home” for a few days.

 “Just get here Rachel…scrape up a few dollars for gas, come right now….and I will get you home and then some.”

One time she put gas in my car before I headed back to Tulsa from her house in Arkansas. This is the honest truth. It was HOLY-GHOST gasoline.  The woman filled up my car with gas… I then proceeded to drive from Greenwood, Ar to Sand Springs, OK and then drove for another TWO WEEKS on the same.tank.of. gas! Ok, I always  I mean… sometimes,  tend to exaggerate a little bit…but I PROMISE..this is the truth. Just ask her!

I have a very vivid memory of one “instance” as a little girl. Mom had given my sister a birthday party. She had a few of her little friends over. I could not have been more than around 3 or 4 because I was not in school yet. Mom had went out and bought ( I do not know how to this day  that she afforded it) these little prizes to give away at the party. They were different little toys and games.  I was not known to throw a fit or act out ever. One reason is that she would have back-handed me in front of DHS themselves…the other is because I am just so naturally <ahem…> easy-going. <cough..cough…> So anyway, there was a little tea set. A pink plastic tea set, in a cardboard box with a see-through cover on the front. I had seen this before the party and had coveted it. Sinfully. I lost sleep over it, I wanted this tea set more than anything I had ever deemed “covetable.” She told me “No Rachel, it is for the party.”  And so the day of the party came. And prizes were being given away. And my eyeballs were as big as sand dollars as each new “prize” was presented to the winner of the games. I then remember going into the bathroom downstairs and I threw a wall-eyed HISSY FIT. I mean, flat-out crying, bawling fit. My mom would have NEVER , ever put up with that. EVER. But for some reason…on that day, she caved.

She came in that little bathroom while the party was in full swing and handed me that tea set. I think I know why. Not because I threw a fit. Not even close. (In fact, I’m still surprised she did not have “words” with me and my rearendski…) But because she felt sorry for me. You see, we did not have a lot growing up. I never had very many toys, and certainly nothing so special as a pink, plastic tea set. I was NOT spoiled.  I want to make it very clear…she was not caving into my “fit.” She was caving in the name of “compassion.” In the name of “love.” In the name of being a “mom.” And at the young age that I was, I knew that. I knew it was un-acceptable to “act out” and that it would never get me what I wanted,  but I knew this time was different for some reason. I have never forgotten that day, 35 years later. And I never pulled anything like that, ever again.

OK, I lied. I did. But I was an adult.

And it goes a little something like this…

I was home for Christmas, separated, playing single mom, broke and frustrated. And “incident” occurred with my husband at the time. It was bad….I had nothing left in me. NOTHING. It was only her and I at her house when I found out some “things” and simply I lost it. I dropped the  “F” bomb” and threw a shoe at our wedding picture still hanging on the wall… at my moms….the ministers home…on Christmas.

Not a proud moment. Oh no. Rates right up there in the top 5 worst moments of my life. So…expecting to be reprimanded for the stink and filth that had just rolled off my mom simply stated…. “Feel better now?” I know every part of her wanted to slap the devil right out of me but she knew that I was done. And then she took the picture off the wall. And it never went back up. Praise be to God.

My mom is very, very talented. Here is her Website  and here is Her new children’s book as well as A book on “Love.”

How very cool is she??? You see the theme here?? Love.

And so…since I am going to be gone on this Mother’s Day, I want to say publicly that I adore, love, appreciate and honor my Mother. My Mom. My friend. Without her, I do not know where I would be. She still prays for me and my family every day. She still comes to visit, she still is “there.” But on the outskirts and only coming in when I cry “help!” which isn’t very often anymore. Never in my business. Never doing anything other than just being “Mom.”

I love you Mom. (Sorry I am going to Branson! No I’m not………….)


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Categories: childhood, family, god, humor, life, parenting, people


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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5 Comments on “Momma Mia & her Holy Ghost gasoline”

  1. May 5, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    What a great tribute! From what you shared, I love your mom too…well, as much as you can love someone you’ve never even met. Gonna have to check out her book and website. Have a fun getaway!

  2. May 6, 2011 at 5:03 am #

    Terrific tribute to your Mom. As a Mum myself, no, she won’t mind!

  3. May 12, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    Great title!

  4. September 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

    Rachel, just read this, did not know you had written this back on Mother’s Day. God has been SO good to us, helped us through so much stuff, provided, healed, delivered, comforted and, at times, corrected us. I have thanked God every day for you, for your sweet heart, your compassion and generousity. I am crazy about your sense of humor too! Yes, I remember the Holy-Ghost gasoline! Just one of those many times that God worked supernaturally for you and for me! You are a strong woman, a great Mom and a loving wife and I am very proud of you. This writing that you are doing is a great way to express what and who you are, plus revealing just a bit of the many talents that you have.
    I would still fight a circle-saw for you! Love you so much, MOM


  1. Momma Mia & her Holy Ghost gasoline | Kids say : - May 6, 2011

    […] post by onemom4rugrats This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← Big Sex Little Death: […]

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