Zumba eh….Zumba ahhhh….that hurts….

Yesterday I pulled the muscle in my left butt-cheek doing Zumba. Again. It now feels like there is a rock permanently implanted there, seized up for the duration of my life. Perhaps it will give the illusion that my buns are more firm than they actually are. I mean… than they never were.  OK… probably that they will never be. Ever. Actually if it does give that illusion I need to balance it out with the other side then. Maybe when I go to Zumba on Wednesday and I will try pulling the other one out of whack as well.

So….I have been doing Zumba for about 2 or 3 months. OK, “doing” is a strong word….I go..I participate,  but I just sort of hope no one is watching me because I STINK at it! Royally! But here is the freaky-deaky twist. I love it!

At first I started on the back row. For like 2 months. Now I have made my way up a few rows. I probably should have stayed on the back…so no one gets distracted by my swagger “moves.” I hope no one on the back row is new and think they are watching me for guidance…because if so….they are gonna have a pulled butt-cheek in the first 10 minutes.

The problem with the back row , is that it really is not the back row. You see, our very, very, VERY (did I mention VERY?) talented, wonderful instructor is tricky. She lets no one get by with “hiding” out. So sometimes she turns the back row into the front row. So once I figured that out, I moved to the middle…hoping to “outsmart” her. Well…that did not work either. She then splits the class down the middle and then I end up on the front row again! And then I have to pretend I know what I am doing. Usually when she does this there is a song that involves squats…and then holding them. And then she “motions” and tells you “go lower.”  “WHAT?!?!? Are you kidding me right now? ” Ummm…your “high” is my “low.”  But I try …and then I feel my face getting red, and sweat beads pop out instantaneously. And I count down the seconds before she starts coming back up, and they seem like minutes. Some days…hours.

I do not “dance.” I never have, never will. I have no soul and zero rhythm…  One song that says “White girls…get on up…” should be revised to… “White girls….give it up….” when it comes to ME.

Yesterday my pulling of the butt cheek was quiet timely. I stepped out for a second to try to coax it back into position….and they did the one song that has a move that I simply cannot do. I cannot multi-task and this particular move requires moving side to side at the same time you are touching your elbows to your opposite knee. UMMM. No. It doesn’t work. Not here.

No. Can. Do.

When I started Zumba it was after being prodded by a couple of friends and neighbors to go. I did it because I knew I had to do something. Anything other than what I had been doing. Which was nothing.  And I had been looking at my kids. I did not like what I was seeing. They wanted to go and when I found out they could participate for free I had no more excuses left. Honestly I figured that I would go once…and quit. But I came back. I made myself. Because the first time it was awkward…really awkward for me. And now it’s only semi-awkward. And now I have one firm butt-cheek and that’s really awkward….but that is the story of my life.

I am so proud of my girls. One of them in particular will not miss Zumba for anything and the other two go most of the time. They love it and makes it easy for me to go, even when I do not feel like going, I know I must go. If not for me…for the girls.

I am a little afraid of when they go to their other parents this summer what are they going to do for exercise?? I almost want to keep them home for the summer so they can continue. I now see how very important this is. I have lost around 6 pounds. Without changing my diet. So I know it is working, slowly and steady. I have made new friends and yesterday I got so tickled in class I could not even do the dance.


So this weekend I am going to be missing our Zumbathon that is a fundraiser to support the troops. While I am thrilled to be going out-of-town to Branson with my girlfriends, I am not thrilled to miss the party!

Hey, at least I’ll be sporting one firm butt-cheek right?? I know the senior citizens in Branson will take note and be insanely envious.

 Take a Zumba class where ever you are! Or with Dawn! In Sand Springs/Case Community Center! The class is awesome! Go to the Zumbathon this Friday night! Support our troops!


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Categories: dance, exercise, funny, humor, people


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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12 Comments on “Zumba eh….Zumba ahhhh….that hurts….”

  1. May 3, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

    HIL**LARIOUS! And I say that only because I TOO am a closet-zumba-lover WITH hideous white-girl moves! I love to do it, however, I am so terrible at it! Most people probably hate to stand next to me because I laugh ALL through it! 😀

    • May 3, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

      Straight up girlfriend! We need to go to a class together. We would be in hysterics!

  2. May 3, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

    I do Zumba within the safe walls of my own home. The world isn’t ready for my awesome zumba stylings. Seriously, I’d hurt somebody.

    • May 3, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

      Ah..come on girl. If I go in public…..well…just trust me…

  3. May 3, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

    Hahaha! I needed that laugh. Good for you on the 6 pounds lost!

    • May 3, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

      Imagine how much i’d lose if I actually changed my diet.

  4. lifewith4cats
    May 3, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

    That really sounds like so much fun. I have a Zumba for my wii station. But just the tutorial baffles me. I have to keep at it though.
    I think if you can do it, I can do it.

  5. May 3, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

    Yes, I promise you…if I can..ANYONE can! I never dreamed I would love it, but something about it is addictive. I have thought about the WII version..not sure if I would use it or not.

  6. May 5, 2011 at 4:23 am #

    Clearly I need to find out more about this. I’ve heard of it, but not really checked it out. You’ve inspired me to see if my gym has a class or two.

  7. May 12, 2011 at 6:17 pm #

    Great post about your butt!

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