My baby-doll, my mini-me, my Addy.

The baby of our family is 9 years old. Not so much a baby anymore but I am finding that I am having a hard time with her, in particular, growing up.   She is my “mini-me.” In every respect. She looks a lot like myself, but mostly she acts exactly like me. EXACTLY. Creepy-deepy.

Since she is the “baby” of the family, she has decided that she will take utmost advantage of her role and I cannot say that I blame her. She still lets me wad her up in my lap and we pretend she is a baby and we play like this a lot.  I know it seems silly and I admit that I eat it up. If you are a male or not a mom, you will not understand this… ever. Do not mistake this playfulness for me being a push-over when it comes to her..nor do I think that I “baby” her per say…. but lately, as she is growing older I am finding it harder to let her grow up. And I never thought I would be that way. But now I know why.

Yesterday as we were playing our “baby” game when she stopped being silly and said… “Mom, what’s it like to be an adult?”  “Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…..” I hesitated before I answered… “Well, it has its pros and cons.” “When you are an adult, you get to stay up as late as you want and no one can tell you when to go to bed.”  I notice at this point, her eyes begin to light up. “And you can watch what ever movies you want to watch!”  To which she exclaims Wow!”  And then she asked:  “Can I have my own car?”  “You mean, like right now?” “No mom, like when I’m 20!”  To which I answered…. “No! No cars for babies! Babies cannot drive cars!”  “But mom! I won’t be a baby when I’m 20!” “Yes! Yes you will! Can you imagine you’re trying to drive a car and you are crying like a baby? Waahhh Wahhh !”  I had lost it. I was mimicking a crying baby driving a car and my 11-year-old was sitting there staring at me with her mouth open and looking at me in utter disbelief.

When it finally hit all of us how ridiculous the entire scenario was, we all just busted out laughing. But for the last 24 hours I have been thinking a lot. Why have I taken this sudden approach with my youngest? Why am I afraid for her to grow up?  And so I have concluded the following:

I live vicariously through her. I look at her and see myself, in my youth. And then I am reminded that I grew up…and made some horrible mistakes that I wish I could reverse. But I cannot. And so this is my way of “protecting” her from what I went through.I miss the former “me.” The unscathed version, the innocence, the youthfulness.  It is absolutely like looking into a mirror of my youth when I observe her.

So, back to reality… I know that I cannot keep her young forever, nor protect her from this “world.” But, it is great fun playing this little “game” we play while she still allows me.  We never did get to the “cons” of being an adult. Our conversation was cut short by their dad coming to pick them up for a week of spring break.

I do know one thing, I think she is a happy kid. Wouldn’t it be fun to just “freeze” ourselves in that state and never have to worry about nuclear reactors blowing up, natural disasters, and un-paid bills?  I will never push my children into growing up too fast. And I see a lot of people doing that and it makes me sad. Why? Just let kids be kids and enjoy what little time they have to be worry-free. Play, laugh, pretend and make-believe-through the life of a child.


Tags: , , , ,

Categories: childhood, children, humor, life, parenting


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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One Comment on “My baby-doll, my mini-me, my Addy.”

  1. March 16, 2011 at 8:18 am #

    I know what you mean about wishing you could just freeze them… my baby – and only daughter, which IMO makes it harder! – is 9yo, and part of me hates that she is growing up. Mostly I just hope and pray she and I will always enjoy each other’s company like we do now. Even when she’s a teenager… =8-O

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