Why I may start wearing my pj’s to shop in: Or not.

Hello. My name is Rachel,  I am addicted to garage sales, thrift stores, and I may or may not occasionally find myself digging in a dumpster.  I refuse to admit that this is a problem,  in fact, I prefer to call it “genius.”

This morning when I was driving back from dropping off the 3 little maggots at school, I seen the first sign . “You are almost there!”  The next sign read… “Estate Sale, tools, generator, etc.”  I get to the road where the sale is and there are like 10 signs , tons of arrows and lots more goodies listed.  I kid you not, my heart started racing…and then so did I…. I put the pedal to the metal and flew home to change my clothes.  While some people think it is acceptable to wear pajamas and house slippers out in public…I find it repulsive. In fact… yesterday I was in Wal-Mart and I witnessed exactly that. Flannel drawstring pajamas and red fuzzy, gnarly, matted slippers. Grody to the maximus extremis is all I have to say about that.

So I called my main squeeze and told him about the sign saying there was a generator (because his quit working) and that I would let him know if I seen anything else he may need.  When I pulled in I realized this was the house that we were going to sell girl scout cookies a few days prior,  but the people across the road told us not to go over there. Evidentially the lady had just died and she was only in her mid-50’s. As I was walking up the drive,  I witnessed truck loads of furniture, etc. leaving and the people were all wearing their pj’s….

Immediately I was sickened. “Why didn’t I just bare it all and show up in my jammas?   I had lost at least 15 minutes of “early bird gets the worm” time span. In the world of hard-core, garage-sale junkies, 15 minutes on the first morning of a sale is more like 15 hours.  Basically, you snooze…you lose. In fact, if it is a Saturday and the sale started Friday, I do not even waste my time.

And so, I hit the garage where all the outdoor stuff is, it looks like there is plenty and sweat beads began to form on my forehead. I spot a riding lawnmower! $100 bucks! WHAT???????????  We need it!  Yeah, well, guess what? About that time a dude pulls up and backs his truck up and loads MY lawnmower up.  He then has the audacity to proclaim loudly… “ I can’t even believe I got this for $100!”  As my mouth hangs agape, I decide.. “That is it! Next time I am rolling straight out of the rack, into the car and the kids can hitch-hike to school.”

I see a few cool things, including a Julia Child cookbook that I snatch up and then I run into “Cabinet Man.” Remember him?  The dude who is supposed to change the course of my life forever by giving me a new kitchen?? (please refer back here for the complete story. https://southerngoulash.wordpress.com/2011/02/17/pot-pie-man-designed-my-kitchen/ )  Well, guess what he just bought?  That’s correct. You heard it here first. The generator. Great. Just great. It is a good thing that he is a very nice man (even though I am still waiting on the price of my re-model) because I felt like telling him to power it up to his shop and get busy on my cabinets! But, I did not. Because I am nice like that…most of the time. 🙂

I spot a wheel-barrow for $20. It’s a pretty nice one. Not used too much and I know we need one, but I am unsure because it has a flat tire so I go into the house and leave it. When I walk in, I immediately notice a funky-fresh smell. It was cat whiz. Whatever! I am on a quest.   Upon entering the kitchen I hear a conversation taking place. The lady hosting the estate sale said that the lady had “smoked” herself to death. At the age of 54, she was dead. I do not know how true that story was but if so, how very sad.  😦 

In the kitchen I immediately spot an almost new set of pots and pans. Circulon, not too shabby at all! I am desperate for new ones, I have literally worn mine out and have been looking for a while now but they are so expensive for really nice ones and since I am a cookware snob I only want a nice set. Naturally I snatch them up and ask the lady where I can put them so I can continue to shop. I round the corner and there *IT* sets. The trundle bed I have been looking for, for my daughters room. Gorgeous mahogany, sleigh-style, simply perfect. My eyes are bulging out of my head, I am ecstatic…. and  I cannot believe the good fortune…. OF SOMEONE ELSE! It was marked  “SOLD.” Oh. My. Heavens. To. Mergatroid.  Right then I decided to go back home and change back into my pajamas and then go back. Maybe my luck would change??  But I continued to shop, because I did not want my pots and pans to get away from me! Oh look!!! A high-def dvd player! $10! YIPPEE! Giant Injun Dude told me less than 12 hours prior to go buy one. What were the odds?? And so I stuck it in my growing pile on the table. I now had pots and pans, A Julia Child cookbook and this awesome DVD player. I was re-gaining faith in taking the time to put on clothes.

I went to a few other rooms and upstairs, all which were filled with gorgeous antique furniture but none of which I needed or could afford. In the meantime, the most darling Injun that has ever resided on the earth called me to see how it was going. I told him that there were tools, etc but that I did not know what he needed, nor did I have very much cash on me. He decided to leave his job he was working on to come check it out.

About that time I spotted a wardrobe. A closet full of clothes I do not mean. An antique piece of furniture, I do. It had double doors that swung open revealing drawers that pulled out. This was a wonderful piece of furniture. But there was NO WAY I was going to be able to get it. And then I spotted it.. the price tag. $20. I felt sure this was a mis-print. After all, the pie-safe I had just admired said $750.00. No , it was not as wonderful as the pie-safe but it was still very nifty in its own right. As I am pondering whether or not the price is true… this other lady comes up and says … “$20! What the heck?”  Oh no! What to do? I really need to call Red-Man and ask him if he can haul it…oh… who cares! I leave the lady there checking out what I had already checked out and find the estate sale lady. I ask her if she can mark the piece “sold.” She said… “I can if you pay for it.” Panic overtook me and then I remembered: I had stolen EXACTLY $20 from my sons wallet just this morning. Oh yes I did. Why you ask?? Because just last night the Large Red Skinned Guy gave it to him and he was supposed to take it to school to use for the dance tonight. But much to my chagrin, he forgot it. So, I happened to have a $10 bill that I gave him so I would not have to drive all the way back to school to deliver his wallet.  When I realized I was going to the estate sale I remembered that I had given him all my cash so I then proceeded to go into his room and steal the money….

I look to the room,  and the lady that has been admiring MY wardrobe is now caressing it. I wish I were kidding. I frantically dug and found the stolen money and FLUNG it at the lady and told her to mark it “sold” ASAP. I walked away quickly because I did not want to witness the other lady’s despair. I made my way back to the kitchen and I am trying to waste time until my main Native American Man gets there. I start to see some things that I had overlooked before. A unique set of wooden tongs, a HUGE stainless stock pot, a copper pot to add to my rather extensive copper collection and a glass mixing bowl with a spout. Oh… and a glass pyrex measuring cup exactly like the one I just broke.  So to my “pile” they went. 

Big Injun Man pulls up and I am hoping with cash. I have an “un-paid” pile of treasures and a heavy piece of furniture. *THIS* is why I chose to re-marry.  Sweeter euphoria have I never felt at his sight. He looks around only to see what is picked over. Not a lot left 😦  He spots the wheel barrow and cannot decide due to the flat tire so he leaves it. Like clock-work, dependable and heavily laden with cash, he goes to pay. For my stuff alone. He drove all the way there from his job, just to pay for my stuff. Just to haul a huge piece of furniture for me.

Ummm.. Maam? You have a wheel-barrow out there, it says $20 but it has a flat. Will you take $15?”  “YES!”  Score one for me. I knew he was too embarrassed to ask so I figured it was the least I could do. 

 For $54 I left there with a set of pots and pans that retail for close to $300. A copper pot that is very heavy and valuable to my collection.  A Sony Hi-Def DVD player. I replaced my broken measuring cup, added a new HUGE batter bowl, a 12 quart stock pot, an almost new wheel-barrow, a couple other gadgets and I plan on cooking my way thru “A French Chef’s Cookbook” by Julia Child. 1968. Let us not forget my wardrobe. Invaluable. I cannot wait to get it in place, at which time I will take a snapshot and add here.

None too shabby for a girl wearing clothes.

Tags: , , , , ,

Categories: funny, furniture, humor


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

Like it? Well...subscribe then! So I can haunt you via email :)

Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

9 Comments on “Why I may start wearing my pj’s to shop in: Or not.”

  1. Tammy
    March 4, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Love it as always Rachel!! Can’t wait to see the wardrobe.

  2. March 4, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

    Thanks for reading girl! We have to go pick it up later, it was too heavy!

  3. March 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    That is awesome Rachel!!!! Good for you! And next time, shop in your pjs!! Haha!

  4. March 5, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    Interesting post. If I ever hold a garage sale I will post the note “Anyone NOT wearing pajamas will not be permitted to make a purchase”. You should start a new trend of camping out at the site of a garage sale the night before, like people do for sports events.

  5. March 5, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    Congrats on your haul. I have never done the garage sale thing. Saturday is the one day I can sleep in, and I NEED it. But, a wardrobe for the same price as a maimed wheelbarrow? It might be worth the trade-off. Once.

  6. March 5, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    balladeer, thanks for reading! I wouldn’t be surprised if people around here do just that! There are some die-hards 🙂

    momfog~ You must try garage sales, if you hit the right ones, you will be addicted! Go early Friday mornings if you can, those are the best!

  7. March 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

    That is brilliant. I haven’t smiled so much whilst reading a blog entry for ages. See now i have to go back and find out what the story is with the kitchen. I’m hooked damn it.

    sev xx

    • March 10, 2011 at 8:15 pm #

      Thank you severin! I am glad I made you smile…especially after reading your last blog… 🙂

      • March 11, 2011 at 5:54 am #

        Ah yes, sorry, that must have been quite boring and depressing to read. Anyway, there’s a new blog entry there now, although it should carry an “Adult Content” warning!

        Have a good weekend. Any yard sale visits planned?

        sev x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: