Archive | 2011

Gonna wash that gray right outta my hair!


This week I have learned two things about myself: I have claws even a momma bear would back away from…and  I can use a $7 box of color to cover up my $80 highlights.  The revelation of these two things have given me a new lease on life. In about 6 months I will be […]

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The day I realized my “Fountain of Youth” clocked out early:


It was yesterday and  I was putting on makeup. For 39 years I had lived in my imaginary land where rainbows and unicorns exist. Where there was world peace and where my forehead was wrinkle-free. I put on my new eye make-up and as I was doing so, I lifted my eyebrows up to gain more […]

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Oh…OH….OH…..OKLAHOMA where the winds come tearing down your deck….


“And the earthquakes hit, the drought never quits, and the snow is  up to your pits!!” The year is 2011. The state is Oklahoma. And I live there.  Whoa!!! What a year!!!  We started off in January with record breaking freezing temperatures. We hit -30 something below. -30 below! IN OKLAHOMA!  What the freezing heck??? […]

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Take me out to the …..chiropractor.


Yesterday the Big Injun asked me if I wanted to play “Annie Over.” I thought it may have been the sweetest invite ever. First of all, who plays Annie Over anymore, especially when you’re an adult? Secondly, it was just cute. We were playing basketball before that and were reminiscing about when we were kids. […]

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Five down, four to go.


The way I figure it, I have about four “lives” left. Who said only cats had nine lives? When I was 7 I tried to hang myself on our monkey bars. With a rope. Around my neck. With a barrel underneath me that I was rolling on. That’s right. I was going to hang myself, but I […]

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Why I feel like screaming bloody murder.


There were 7 of us at a table. We counted 15 times we had been married between us and there were more divorces just around the corner….. “I’m getting divorced! I’m not happy! My husband left me because he just didn’t want to be married anymore! I am miserable! I know my husband is cheating […]

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My Dingo ate your… ahhh, nevermind.


Twitch…twitch…t w i t c h…… That would be my eyelids. Twitching. Tired. Stressed. That’s what happens when I get stressed. Why am I stressed? I am so glad you asked. The neighbors dog. It’s lucky to be alive. The little, black, hairy creature is not on my “favorite furry critters” list right now. Normally it […]

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Facebook: I hate your guts.


Man, I must be popular!! I woke up to 57 notifications on Facebook this morning! A week or so ago, I would have 3 or 4. I even went through all the steps of eliminating “things” I did not want to see. I have checked and unchecked….deleted, marked, erased, made lists, and frankly…even had some “come to Jesus” conversations with my screen. […]

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O’ Stinky One


There’s been a dead opossum on my front sidewalk for a couple of days. Dingo must have drug it up to show off her trophy. I was becoming disturbed about it being there but at the same time I did NOT want to touch it . I was simply hoping it would “vanish.” And vanish… it […]

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Pinto’s, Mavericks, & Ustom Cab’s…Oh My!


Harvest Gold Ford Pinto. Brown Ford Maverick. Red Dodge Ustom Cab (the first letter “C” had fallen off the emblem and it was hanging there, not unlike a dangling participle.) I pretended it was really the “Lil Red Express” style instead….A girl could dream right??

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