Imps, Baby naners’ & Euro Man.

You may recall that yesterday I posted about my plans to go to my favorite mexican supermarket…Morelos Super Mercados. Well, I say favorite… it’s the only one i’ve ever crossed the border into (← pun  most definitely intended.)

I go in with exactly 20 minutes to spare before I have to pick up imps  #2, 3 and 4 from school. Imp #1 comes home later on the school bus from “H E double hockey-sticks. ” As I make my rounds quickly, I have my eyes set on the bakery section where they bake these ridiculous pastries and breads on the premises, most of which cost 3 for $1.00.  I also got 5 limes for .33 and for less than $3 a HUGE bunch of  those adorable baby bananas that cost you your life at W* L – M* R T.  (if you cannot guess the store i’m talking about, I will email you the answer in private.)  By the way… I detest that store even though I can be found there at least 3x a week.

After picking up the 12″ homemade tortillas for imp numeral uno’s Spanish class party,  I sniffed my way to the land o’ goodies. As I was mulling over the vast array of flakiness a middle-aged man started talking to me about each and every single delight. By this point, I have approximately 5 minutes before I have to make my way through 14 detours and construction zones in Tulsa to get to aforementioned imps.  This nice man kept referring to the pastries in Europe and how long it takes to make them. I could not figure out where he was from in Europe and now I am angry at myself for not asking him but his accent was very thick and a lot of what he was saying I could not understand but pretended that I did.  He then commissioned me to buy one of pert-near everything in the case and that I should separate each one with wax paper. He told me he only buys from Morelos because he knows what goes into their food and that you never know what you are getting if you buy from the mystery store I alluded to above. I was then told I needed to “sniff” the bolero rolls to smell the natural, non-preserved state. Of course, I did. He then proceeded to tell me I needed to buy the bolero rolls on the one side of the tray and not the which I did. I have two minutes before take-off  and I’m making my way to the register. He gets in front of me and he only has a $100 bill. He asks me if I have change. I think I just laughed out loud and didn’t answer.  He checks out and waits on me. As naner’s and pastries are flying down the belt, he starts in on chocolate. Euro chocolate of course. “Cacao.”  “Hershey’s no good!” “I get sick!”   I’m at negative 30 seconds (trust me, I know because I now have it down pat to the locale , I factor in the road construction and how to make it until the last possible second I can pick up my kids before the school calls DHS. Just kidding…<SIGH.>  

So after he follows me outside to my car… Euro Man tells me about a store named….. ” The Euro Store” that I have to check out. Evidentially it has the real-deal un-adulterated chocolate, un-salted cheese- “because I need to be very aware of heart disease and I should be riding my bike on Riverside drive and not sitting in front of the T.V.” as well as sausages and the likes. 

I think I will go. And I hope I run into “Euro Man” at the “Euro Store ” that is located behind “the store of toys.” He told me he goes to Morelos and buys the pastries because his wife is a very hard worker and it takes a very long time to make these goods and he wants to bless her with them. “Kudos” to that is all I have to say. Kudos to Euro Man.

Oh, and I made it to school and still had to wait in the car line.

Tags: , ,

Categories: food, funny


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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