Caramel-infused, chocolate-laced, macchiato-mocha creamer

I’ve always prided myself on being different. On not being afraid to be myself. Of being the caramel-infused, chocolate-laced, macchiato-mocha creamer of the coffee world. Plain Coffee Mate was not what I was to be about. Oh no, not this girl.

Yesterday I go to buy groceries for the masses (i.e Mi familia  <–i’m practicing up on my Spanish since i’m going to my favorite mexican super mercado later…  ) Anyway, as I approach the dairy section that has the liquid creamer I feel my heart-rate beginning to increase as I prepare to take in the possibilities. What is this I see?? It can’t be! “Pumpkin Pie yumminess , Heavenly nog of egginess, Cinnamon swirl toffee delectability, Caramel mocha delishishness, Sugary drops of Italian sweetness!” At last! I had met my Maker….

10 minutes later,  after having chosen two mates for my cup of joe I placed them atop my heaping cart and displayed them proudly, almost as if to say to the other patrons… “Look at me, plain coffee I am not!”

Last night when my Big Injun Man was getting ready for bed I decided to try to impress him and program the coffee pot so when he got up at 5 a.m and I was still snoring, he would have a steamy cup of java and maybe he would forgive me for not joining his jovial self in the wee hours of the dawn. I remembered my special creamers and presented him with his options. One he refused to even sniff of and the other I managed to get him to sample. He proclaimed.. “I’m not putting egg nog in my coffee!” I rolled my eyes at him as I always do and returned the creamers to their rightful place. I then reminded him that they were in the door so as he would not forget to officiate the marriage of hot, aromatic caffeine-laced coffee with the scrumptious  creamer of his choosing.

Long gone was that darling man this morning when I stepped into my kitchen only to find the plain powdered Coffee-Mate canister open. Instantly I felt betrayed. “Hmph! Fine then, that  just means more for me!”  With much anticipation, I laced my coffee with it’s mate and watched the swirly goodness come together to form one union. Smelling first…a slow savory sip next…warmness and caffeine to invade the fog…followed by the wonderful, sweet…deliciousDISGUSTING…  creamer. I tried drinking it, really I did, just to prove my point. I couldn’t do it. I proceeded to dump my cup o’ letdown straight down the drain and made myself a good ol’ fashioned plain cup of coffee complete with non-flavored Coffee-Mate.

Lately I have been examining myself. I think I’m a little disappointed but i’m still trying to sort that out. I am no longer that person whom I always prided myself in being. I am a creature of habit. I go to the same stores, I sit in the same seat at church and don’t even TRY stealing my parking spot at my bi-weekly trip to Goodwill. I make mexican food once a week, my clothes are boring and I like my coffee plain. While part of me is disappointed, the other more <ahem> “mature” side of me thinks this could be a good thing. My life is drama-free. For once, hopefully forever.  I’d take plain Coffee-Mate over Caramel-infused, chocolate-laced, macchiato-mocha creamer any day.

Tags: ,

Categories: food, humor


I am Rachel. I have a skewed sense of reality and I like to live through my imagination. Unfortuntely, that has taken me down some rocky roads and I am here to share some snippets of what happens when a girl has a mind of her own.

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